This thought flashed through my mind today and I want to share it, as we’re about to begin a new year.
It’s hard to think about (or see) the beauty in life and this world when we’re constantly reminded of the opposite. I guess it’s usually in our early teens when our worldview starts expanding, we become smaller as the world gets bigger, more complex, richer, darker, though our dreams remain beautiful, I think, regardless of how disappointed we may feel… That is, until we become adults. As adults, there’s no paradigm to hold on to, because our deeper understanding has shattered them all, and rightfully so, I’m sure.
Even nowadays, when I’m caught up in a beautiful moment, I can’t dismiss a sense of loss and horror; maybe it’s because I’ve been depressed several times and that burns an image in your mind about everything that you can’t fight; or maybe it’s part of my character, because I’ve actually had that image since I was about 12. I remember one morning, as I was watching the kids in our school running around, when I expressed those thoughts to a friend and she tried to make me feel hopeful, but I don’t remember feeling depressed, or hopeless; I was feeling as objective as a human being could ever feel.
I think it’s useful to live with that sense of horror, because it reminds me of all the things that need to change, and the value I give to my life is attached to the possibility of improving, starting with myself. But, beauty is also as vital, either as a motivator or as a reminder of how a better world would look.
So, this was just to tell you to seek beauty, create beauty, be a part of it, and never forget its opposite, so you can begin to modify it.
Maybe life is meant to have its share of horror (though we have a wrong perception of it), but I find it tragic if it’s a consequence of human ego or stupidity.
Have a beautiful 2014, everybody.
That wish includes a dancing kitten.